CRASHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD APPROACHING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tidal wave of spam is about to explode down on your inbox. We're talking horrendous amounts of scammy emails packed with sick porn. These bastards are trying to cheat you out of your hard-earned money, so be totally vigilant. Don't click on any links in these emails, and block them immediately. Be smart!